Game of Kubo
by zirahbleach
Summary: Bleach's author, Kubo Tite was having a birthday party and he invited all his Bleach characters to attend it. Like any other party, he had prepared games for his guests. But they weren't just any ordinary games. They were the roads to HELL.
1. The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

**Gah, I just love Bleach. I don't understand why some people dislike this awesome manga.**

**Disclaimer:**

**I would be the happiest person alive if I were to be its owner.**

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Round 1: The Beginning

"Wow, Kubo's mansion is damn huge!" Renji whispered as he, Rukia and Ichigo entered their creator, Kubo Tite's settlement.

"That's why it's called a _mansion," _Ichigo rolled his eyes. Sometimes he was annoyed how his shinigami companions always got excited about random things in human world. Ichigo took a glance at his watch; it was nearly 8 pm.

The mansion was incredibly enormous, it's like one hundred times bigger than an ordinary one. Even Ichigo had just realized about that. The ceiling was up high, meters away from their heads. Maroon bricks coated the mansion walls while yellow antique lanterns decorated the walls. Between the two stairs located a gigantic picture of Kubo Tite, covered with spider webs. Overall, it looked like a haunted house from some horror movies.

Rukia examined the invitation letter that was sent to her. "_You are invited to Kubo Tite's Birthday Party," _she reread the letter, "_Please come to Kubo Mansion in Kubo Hall on Friday, 26__th__ June 2011 at 8 pm. Wear your casual clothes. Your presence is very much awaited." _She exchanged look with Renji and Ichigo. "We need to find Kubo Hall."

Three of them continued their journey in the crazily designed mansion, with Renji and Rukia leading. There were too many rooms that they even got lost in it. After almost two hours of searching the right room, they eventually ended up stopping in front of a large door.

"Oi, Rukia, Renji, what're you guys waiting for? Let's get in!" Ichigo prompted them, only to find out that Renji and Rukia were too captivated by the beautifully carved wooden door that it caused them to stare at the door before coming in.

"Seriously guys!" Ichigo pushed both of them into the hall.

"Welcome, you three," Kubo greeted, speaking to them through the super large sized TV screen which was located at the hall wall. "You are the last ones to arrive. As a punishment, I won't give you any free Bleach comics."

Ichigo looked around his surroundings. Much to his surprise, everyone was here! The Arrancars, Vizards and even his friends and family were attending this party!

"Alright, since everyone is here, let me introduce myself," Kubo began. "I am-"

"Yeah we know who you are. Just get to the point already," Shinji poked his nose, not eager to listen to Kubo's introduction.

Kubo shot him a glare, but then continued, "Fine. Tonight, I have prepared games for you. It's not just a normal game, it's somewhat a race," he cleared his throat. "Don't worry, you will get a prize for winning."

"What's the price, Kubby-kun?" Yachiru snapped. Yumichika chuckled when he heard the nickname. She obviously hadn't gotten rid of her calling habits , had she?

But Kubo wasn't flustered by the statement nor paid any attention about it and still managed to stay calm. "Something special. Something…. _Beyond _your imagination."

Kubo's last sentence garnered everybody's attention. The prize must have been priceless.

"Oi, Kubo, come out now! Why do you only appear in the TV screen?" Ikkaku shouted at Kubo.

"Cause I'm awesome," Kubo answered nonchalantly while sipping a watermelon juice. Everyone just rolled their eyes.

Nanao raised her hand. "Everybody _has _to participate?" she asked.

"Affirmative," Kubo nodded. Nanao who intended not to take part, suddenly felt disappointed. Yes, she did hear that the prize was great, but she knew she didn't stand a chance.

Isane who was standing next to Nanao, patted her shoulder gently. "Don't think about losing. You're going to make it!" She comforted Nanao, as if she knew what was going on Nanao's head. Nanao smiled, her body was now charged with positive electrons after hearing Isane's useful advice.

"It's okay, Nanao-chan. You can use my shoulder to cry on-" Shunsui took this opportunity to hug his vice-captain, only to ended up getting a big slap from her.

Kubo then took out a remote control from his pocket and pressed a red button, which opened up the floor everyone was standing on, thus making them fall into an underground room.

Everything was pitch black. Ichigo tried his best to see his surroundings but to no avail. After several seconds, the lamps were switched on, enabling everyone to witness things before them.

Much to everyone's surprise, they now were located at the Bikini Bottom! That's the hometown of our super famous cartoon character, Spongebob Squarepants!

Just how the hell does this crazy man get a place like this? Ichigo thought, his head was full with unanswered questions. He looked around, trying to find Rukia and Renji but failed to do so. He's completely separated from them.

"You're going to face lots of challenges tonight, so get ready. The first round is pretty easy, all you need to do is to win a race. You have to find the place where the race ends. People who arrive at the finishing line within 10 minutes are through to the next round, while those who fail are going to be eliminated from the game…. And punished," Kubo explained his rules. People were taken aback the fact that there was a punishment for the failures and cursed him, throwing things at the TV screen. Kubo only replied by smirking - they were in his world. He was the owner of Bleach universe, so no one could anything to him. He was the one who would be doing all the trolling.

Grimmjow was all fired up. "I ain't gonna lose to anybody!"

"I will be monitoring you all from my super cool LCD 4D TV, so don't even think to cheat," Kubo warned. Everyone gave him the 'you-are-such-a-show-off' look when he mentioned the words 'super cool'. "

"Are you ready?" Kubo yelled, trying to excite them all, although not even one person responded to him. "Three, two, one, GO!"

Everyone ran as fast as they could.

"Damn, Kubo didn't even give us the map!" Ichigo mumbled to himself. "I need to ask the citizens here."

He then saw a restaurant which had a name 'Krusty Krab' on it, so he decided to ask for directions. He bumped into Patrick who was just about to go out of the restaurant.

"Hey, pink creature," Ichigo said in jiffy. "You know where's the finishing line?"

"Uh… fishing line?" Patrick asked him back, he was totally clueless.

"No, finishing line."

"Telephone line?"

"No, finishing line, FINISHING LINE!"

"… fish what?"

Ichigo sighed, massaging his temples. What an idiot starfish.

"Listen, I need to go to a place where there is a banner which the word 'Finishing Line' was written on it,"

The orange-haired shinigami tried to explain carefully.

Unfortunately, Patrick fell asleep in the middle of Ichigo's brief explanation and woke up after he finished talking. "Uh uh uh! What did you say?" Patrick questioned while rubbing off his saliva.

"Oh damn it!" Ichigo left Patrick due to frustration as Patrick started to fall asleep again.

Ichigo watched the whole city from above someone's roof. Where's the finishing line….

"What are you doing on my roof?" Someone scolded the rookie substitute shinigami. Ichigo looked down to see who it was. Apparently, it was Squidward!

Ichigo thought that this might be a good chance for him to ask about his destination. But as he was jumping off Squidward's house, the sword that he was bringing all time on his back slowly cut off the squid's house into two. This obviously enraged Squidward. To make things worse, Ichigo accidentally landed on Squidward's pots of flowers!

Ichigo reached the red-fired Squidward. "Hey, where's the finish-"

"GET OUT OF HERE!" Squidward didn't even let Ichigo finish his sentence, walked in to his house and shut the door hard, only to make the whole house broke into pieces. Squidward screamed in desperation.

"Wow, this guy has a bad temper," Ichigo commented while not knowing he was the cause of Squidward's madness. He then went off to find another normal citizen.

"Oh, Yoruichi's already arrive at the finishing line!" Kubo announced, although Ichigo didn't have an idea where the hell did Kubo's voice come from. "As expected from a shunpo expert!"

Ichigo was startled. Damn, someone has arrived there already?

"Urahara, Gin, Aizen, Yamamoto and Shinji have also arrived!" Kubo continued, "and Byakuya too! Come on you other participants! You have 5 minutes left!"

I've got to hurry, Ichigo thought deeply. He knew Kubo was a dangerous man. When he gave a punishment to his characters, he's not kidding. He really gave them a real one, usually involving humiliations. You readers have to believe Ichigo, he's been there already.

As he was running, he then stumbled upon a citizen. The citizen was so tiny that Ichigo could even barely see it.

"Ouch!" Plankton shouted. Then he jumped onto Ichigo's shoulder. "It hurts! Don't you see me down there?"

Ichigo looked at the green, one eyed creature. "Uh, duh, obviously not."

"Oh hey, do you know where's the finishing line?" Ichigo immediately asked, hoping that this citizen could help him.

Plankton looked at him and suddenly had an evil idea. I'll use him to steal the secret formula!

"Why, yes, I know where it is," Plankton answered, though he didn't even know what the finishing line was. His statement gave Ichigo a ray of hope. Good thing his house was near to where him and Ichigo met. "Come in to Chumbucket, my house, I'll show you the direction but you must do something."

Ichigo nodded in agreement, not realizing that he was fooled. Plankton then explained that Ichigo needed to go to Krusty Krab and go into Mr. Krab's office and get the secret formula.

"….. So, you're saying that I have to go to the restaurant over there, the Krusty Krab which I've just recently gone there, meet the boss Mr. Krabs, take the secret formula from him and give it to you first, then you tell me the route to my destination?" Ichigo repeated Plankton's instruction. Plankton nodded, he was impressed by Ichigo's intelligence.

Ichigo then stepped on the tiny animal. "You think I'm stupid? You only want that secret formula don't you?"

"I heard you, Plankton! You ain't getting' my secret formula!" Mr. Krabs appeared from nowhere and beat the crap out of Plankton.

"Ooh, Kon has arrived!" Kubo's voice appeared again. And he kept uttering the names that passed the race. What the hell, even Kon managed to get there?

Ichigo sighed and walked away from the Chumbucket and went in again the Krusty Krab.

"Good morning, sir! How can I help you?" Spongebob greeted him with his cheeky smile.

"You know where's the finishing line- ugh, never mind. Just forget about that. It's not like you know that place anyway," Ichigo sounded as if he was losing hope.

Holding his spatula, Spongbob pointed at the backside of the Krusty Krab restaurant. "You mean, a banner with the words 'Finishing Line' on it? It's right at the back of this restaurant!"

WHAT? Ichigo had been here and he didn't notice about that?

"Thanks man," Ichigo was all fired up again, ready to storm off to the place. "You're a nice guy."

Spongebob was surprised. No one had really told him that he was a nice man. He then replied with his eyes sparkling. "Aye, aye, sir!"

"40 seconds left!" Kubo started his countdown.

Ichigo ran as fast as he could. He had to arrive before the time ended!

"10, 9, 8….." Kubo's voice made Ichigo sweated like crazy. "7, 6, 5…."

His heart was racing, drumming endlessly as Kubo counted the numbers. "4, 3…."

AND YES! Ichigo finally passed the finishing line!

"2….1. We're done," Kubo said, but now with a boring tone. "Huh, Ichigo did really pass, eh. What a typical heroic moment. Just why does this happen in every story? Why can't the hero just lose?"

Kubo was totally losing his cool. Everyone just thought that he was crazy.

"Alright, 47 people are through to the next round," Kubo talked. Ichigo hoped that his friends could make it. "For the failures, this is the end of all of you." And all the losers were sent to another place. Ichigo could hear Yuzu's scream and Karin telling her to shut up, rising anxiety in him.

"You…. What did you to my sisters?" Ichigo shouted angrily, he felt like kicking his creator's butt.

Kubo cleared his throat. "You be quiet. If you want to stay and win, you better keep your mouth shut."

Damn it, Ichigo thought. Now he had a goal – he needed to WIN THIS WHOLE GAME. He had to save his sisters!


	2. The Second Game

**Author's Note:**

**Thanks for adding my story to [Favorite Story] and [Story Alert]! You guys rock! Well, now… *coughreviewcough***

**Disclaimer:**

**If you don't mind, Kubo, I'm taking over your Bleach work. Okay I know you mind.**

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Round 2: The Second Game

"Without further ado, let me explain the next game. It's a quiz," Kubo immediately told the contestants that were able to get through to the next round. "Since we have 47 people here, I'll divide you guys into 6 groups with 8 people each in it. Surely there will be one group that will be having only 7 people."

"Do we get to pick our own members?" Izuru questioned. He really didn't want to be in the same team as his former captain, Ichimaru Gin.

Kubo shook his head. "Your group members will be determined by fate..."

"Hold your horses, Kubo."

Kubo was shocked. Who was that?

Then, Grimmjow appeared, with 11 more people behind him. "We made it through, too."

"Huh, you brats. I know how did you escape from my punishment," Kubo replied, he still remained calm.

He suddenly pointed at me.

"You author! You're the one that bring them back here don't you?" Kubo cursed me and called me names for doing that. "You stupid, idiot, bit-"

Okay I'm just gonna cut this part and move on.

"Since this damn author adds more participants, therefore we have 59 people now and there are going to be 7 groups, instead of 6," Kubo definitely was agitated. He didn't dare to curse me again since he knew I would also cut that part off. He had no choice but to continue his words. "There are 57 small papers on the table in front of you, which the numbers 1 to 7 were written on them. You have to write your own name on the paper you choose, and the names that pick the same number will team up. And as you know, I'll be observing you people, so you are not permitted to tell your number to anyone. Anyone who violates this rule will be eliminated immediately."

The participants nodded, a sign to show Kubo that they understood. So they took turns and put in the numbers into the metal box that was provided on the table.

After all of them had finished voting, the metal box vanished and appeared right in Kubo's hands (mind you, Kubo was still on the TV screen, he still didn't show up), and of course no one knew how did that happen. Oh well, it's Kubo alright.

After counting all the names, Kubo then said, "Okay. So here's the result:

Group 1:

Rukia, Grimmjow, Kensei, Hisagi, Nnoitora, Ukitake, Ishida, Ikkaku, Yumichika.

Group 2:

Mashiro, Harribel, Yoruichi, Rangiku, Orihime, Unagiya, Unohana, Nel.

Group 3

Ichigo, Aizen, Ulquiorra, Ginjou, Kenpachi, Mayuri, Byakuya, Yamamoto.

Group 4

Isane, Hinamori, Izuru, Komamura, Nemu, Chad, Kon, Hanataro, Tatsuki.

Group 5

Shinji, Urahara, Gin, Starkk, Shunsui, Rose, Love, Lisa, Baraggan

Group 6

Yachiru, Soifon, Nanao, Hiyori, Hitsugaya, Iba, Riruka, Renji, Tosen

Group 7

Chojiro, Yammy, Aaroniero, Szayel, Zommari, Omaeda, Hachi

"I think it's pretty obvious which group is going to lose…." Hitsugaya rolled his eyes as he heard the names in each group. Kubo shot him a deadly glare (which didn't scare Hitsugaya even a bit), telling the white-haired kid not to reveal which group was going to be eliminated.

"And why am I with the people who resent me…." Ichigo looked at his fellow group members. At some point, the substitute shinigami knew those people couldn't wait to kick his butt.

Yachiru then had an idea, and crawled up to Kenpachi's shoulders to speak out her mind. "Ne, ne, since using 'Group 1' or 'Group 2' or whatsoever is kinda lame, why not we name our groups?"

"O-o-oh! I agreeth!" The child-version of Nel supported the tiny lieutenant and sat on Kenpachi's right shoulder, next to Yachiru.

Kon laughed his heart out. "That spiky-haired guy looks like a nanny!"

And he earned a big punch from the 11th division captain.

"Oi, I ain't wastin' my time here!" Grimmjow unsurprisingly protested those two kids' stupid ideas. Just why the hell did they exist?

Gin, who was standing next to him, butted in. "Well now, let them play a little more, will you?" Grimmjow certainly didn't like Gin's advice, and even decided to slash Yachiru and Nel, but he couldn't do so because I prevented him from doing that.

"You suck, author. You SUCK." Grimmjow cursed me, but oh well. I can erase him from my fanfic whenever I want, so that made him shut his mouth up.

So Yachiru examined all of the groups, trying to find the appropriate name for each group. After two hours had passed and everyone (except Nel) was super bored and they looked like they could die anytime, Yachiru finally uttered her words. "Ne, let's pick names that are easy to remember," she said.

Yachiru pointed her finger at Group 1. "Since there's only one woman in that group so I'll name them the Harem Group!"

Rukia, who was the only female in the group, felt kind of proud and praised herself for being so mighty to have lots of guys hanging around her. Ichigo and Renji just rolled their eyes.

"And Group 2," Yachiru continued. "The Big Boobies!"

Kon had major nosebleeds when he heard that name. Nel looked confused why she even included in that category, but she decided to pushed her thoughts to the back of her mind.

"I wanth to nametsh Itsygo's groupth!" Nel offered herself. "The Itsygo's Group!"

"Seriously Nel, don't make it sound like a superhero group or something," Ichigo sighed when he heard the name. He couldn't do anything though because he knew when Nel had made up her mind, she wouldn't change her decision.

And then Yachiru and Nel continued to name the groups which ended up Group 4: The Nice People Except Kon Group, Group 5: The Laid-Back Group, Group 6: The Annoying Group and Group 7: The Boring Group.

"You don't have to name my group like that even if you don't like me…." Kon was definitely depressed after hearing his group name.

"WHAT? Why are we ANNOYING?" Renji spoke on behalf of the group. Soifon was going to draw her sword, Nanao was already enraged, Hiyori, Hitsugaya and Riruka were getting mad while Iba cursed and acted like he was in the Yakuza group, with all the Yakuza dialect. Only Tosen managed to keep his cool.

"Even she dubbed herself as annoying…." Ichigo commented as he realized Yachiru was also in that group. Well, Yachiru had a point. Those people were really annoying.

And The Boring Group looked slightly hurt by the name given to them.

"Alright," Kubo who had just woken up from his brief sleep, asked," Shall we start?"

Everyone nodded in agreement. The rules were easy. All they needed to do was just to answer the quiz and the group with the least marks will be eliminated. But they had to press the buzzer before answering or else their marks will be deducted.

"Now," Kubo started. "Question one." Ichigo could feel his heart beating faster.

"Name me the actor who played the role Jack in Titanic movie."

Everyone was dumbfounded. Those were the questions…..?

While everybody was dropping their jaws and some of them were spacing out, Isane took this opportunity to press the buzzer and answered, "Leonardo Di Caprio!"

"Correct. One mark for The Nice People Except Kon Group!" Kubo cheered. The group members were delighted to hear Kubo's statement.

"How do you know that, Isane-san?" Hinamori asked out of curiosity. Isane gave her a simple smile.

"I am a fan of Titanic. The story was being broadcast last Sunday on Soul Society Channel," the 4th division vice-captain answered. Hinamori nodded in excitement.

Kubo moved to the next question. "Who sang the song 'Teenage Dream'?"

"I know this," Yammy pressed the buzzer. "It's…. Halle Berry!"

To their disappointment, Kubo shook his head.

Riruka immediately pressed the buzzer and answered, "It's Katy Perry, idiot. What a total bummer."

"Riruka is right! One mark for The Annoying Group!" Kubo clapped his hands. He was enjoying this, wasn't he?

Without wasting any time Kubo proceeded. "How many members are there in the popular Korean boy band Super Junior?"

One group answered, "13!"

"At which event will John Cena fight against The Rock in April 2012?"

"WrestleMania 28!" Another group scored.

"Who is the handsome man who writes Bleach?" After thousands of questions were given and everybody was exhausted, finally Kubo fired his last question and obviously was praising himself. After no response was given, Kubo rolled his eyes and asked again, "Alright. Who is the man that writes Bleach?"

"TITE KUBO!" Ichigo alone shouted enthusiastically. Everyone shot him a you-are-so-lame glare.

"OK, that's a wrap guys!" Kubo finally announced. "Now let's see which group has the lowest mark." Ichigo's heart was beating faster, but he was quite confident that it wasn't his group that would be eliminated.

"The group which will be leaving is…"

Everyone waited anxiously.

"The Boring Group!" Kubo finally said. Hitsugaya had already expected this result. "I told you so," the silver-haired kid responded. All the members of the Boring Group were completely aghast by the outcomes and prepared themselves to kill Kubo but unfortunately a giant vacuum appeared out of nowhere and sucked all of the losing members to a mysterious place. Screams (curses, to be precise) were clearly heard as they were battling themselves against the vacuum, which none of them succeed to defeat the surprisingly crazy equipment.

"Meh, this round is seriously boring. You're so uncreative, Kubo," Hiyori commented. This round was too easy for her and everybody.

Shinji poked his nose. "Yeah, that ugly kid is right." And just by that sentence both of them had a huge Vizard battle, putting their masks on and drawing their swords. The other Vizards let out a small sigh.

Kubo smirked. "That was just the warm-up session. Now we're getting serious."

"There are more fights in this round?" Chad finally spoke.

Kubo nodded. With his face on the TV screen, he announced: "I will present you a guest star for this round's competition…. Joe Rogan!"

"…. Who the hell is that?" Ikkaku asked out of curiosity. Everyone just shrugged, although they thought they had heard the name before.

Then, Joe Rogan stepped out and revealed himself. None of the Bleach characters uttered any word, awkward silence totally conquering the atmosphere. They were thinking who was the familiar guy standing before them.

After a few minutes had passed, Tatsuki came to her senses. "Oh, FEAR FACTOR!" All of them immediately remembered. Joe just rolled his eyes.

Then, a gas was ejected out of nowhere, completely owning the surrounding air. Everybody was starting to feel drowsy – it was the sleeping gas!

The sleeping gas didn't take long to last; probably around several seconds. With heavy heads and mixed feelings, they woke up to a very strange place – an extremely cold place. Ichigo adjusted his sight, trying to view the place clearly. Heck, they were standing on Mount Everest! Being one of the few humans there, he bet the others clearly didn't have any clue where they were at.

"Welcome to Fear Factor Bleach Edition!" Joe Rogan greeted them as they appeared to have stabilized themselves. His voice had never failed to grab people's attention, and everybody was back up on their feet.

"Let me explain the rules," Joe started. "It's pretty easy. See those Fear Factor flags? All you have to do is just to slide all the way down this mountain to the finish line and collect those flags…."

Kenpachi smirked. "That's as easy as crushing your bones."

"….. by using your teeth," continued Joe, a wide smile spreading across his face. Various expressions were drawn on the contestants' faces – about half of them had their jaw dropped.

Unagiya protested. "Are you crazy? How can you slide down there with your teeth? It's gonna stuck!"

"Now, now, do you wanna do this or get eliminated?" Kubo butted in. Much to their surprise, there was actually a helicopter flying around with a super huge LCD TV hanging on it. Up until now, none of them had seen Kubo in person.

"Damn, this guy has to be so rich to do that," Ishida muttered.

Joe Rogan clapped his hands to get their attention. "The 10 persons who either collect the least flags OR have the slowest time will be eliminated."

"Wait, so basically, we have to be both FAST and COLLECT all the flags?" Soifon asked. That meant even if the person got the most flags but had the slowest time, he or she would join the other losers for mere punishments.

"And to top that off, 10 PERSONS?" Izuru started to lose his confidence. He was competing against captains and powerful enemies, the possibility of him winning was just completely out of his expectation.

Joe nodded to both questions. "Correct. Shall we start now?"

With a little bit hesitation, all of them lay on the ground, getting into a comfortable position.

"Teeth on the ground…. 3, 2, 1, GO!" Joe shouted.

Everybody got off to a bad start. Some ran into the woods, some found it hard to even get their teeth to move while only a few others managed to continue their journey.

Ichigo took a few seconds to get going but he was able to do so. It was super difficult to slide in this situation, he almost thought that doing so was impossible. He then felt a powerful aura coming to him.

"Give up, kid. I'm gonna bring you down," Kenpachi was catching up to Ichigo. Only the big guy could release such a frightening spirit. His presence alone was good enough to wipe anyone out of his way.

One problem came after another. "Trash. Be gone now," Ulquiorra was getting ready to fire his cero. Ichigo could see a glow coming out of the fourth Espada's mouth. It was funny though seeing an expressionless guy like him doing such an absurd thing.

"Damn!" Ichigo cursed. He wasn't able to counter attack his opponents due to the uncomfortable situation he was in. All he had to do was to get this round done, and he could get revenge on them anytime after that.

A few seconds after that, Ichigo could see sakura passing by him. He knew who that would be.

"Senbonzakura Kageyoshi," Byakuya released his Bankai on the orange-headed Shinigami. Ichigo had a hard time dodging the attack, but being the main character in this story, of course he survived.

Eventually, Ichigo's pain came to an end. The finish line could be spotted only a few metres away. He then managed to pass through the line, becoming the seventh person to arrive in time. But he felt something was missing.

Uh-oh.

He forgot to collect the flags!

I'm doomed! Thought Ichigo. The enemies were the ones who had to be blamed for this. Now he's finished, he didn't obtain even one flag!

The bell was ringing, indicating that the time was up. Now the results were going to be announced by Kubo, who was still laughing hard due to the hilarious acts done by the contestants.

"Oh, thanks Joe Rogan. You may step aside now and get your salary later," said Kubo after he had cooled down from the laugh. Having heard Kubo's command, Joe left the competitors and wished them good luck before parting ways.

"Isane, Iba, Hanataro, Komamura, Izuru, Riruka, Baraggan, Love, Nanao are the ones to be eliminated," Kubo went straight to the results. "The reasons are: Isane got stuck at the beginning and was the last contender to move, Iba is so annoying with his yakuza-wannabe attitude, Hanataro is such a coward, Komamura for having a brief reunion with his old comrade 'the Abominable Snowman', Izuru for not having confidence in himself, Riruka fooling around too much with her Barbie dolls during the competition, Baraggan's teeth are too old to compete, Love had his afro hair stuck on a tree and Nanao was lost due to her broken spectacles. Basically every individual that I have just mentioned did not finish their race."

Iba was totally infuriated. "What? I collected many flags and arrived in time, and you're judging me based on my personality? You crazy man!" he yelled, only to be ignored by Kubo and all the people mentioned immediately vanished, perhaps making their way to receive Kubo's punishments.

"But hey, there are just 9 people. You said 10 persons are going to be eliminated. Who's the other one?" Renji demanded.

Kubo smirked. "I'm saving the best for the last. I've been waiting for this last contender to be eliminated. The 10th person is….. KUROSAKI ICHIGO!"

"I knew it! Damn it!" Disappointment completely conquered his heart. He had let down his family. Now he had no choice but to join the other nine people. Being a true man, he boldly accepted any punishments fair and square.

"Yes!" Kubo laughed maniacally. "Finally, you're out! In your face, author! Ichigo is eliminated! He will-"

"Hold on," Shunsui raised his hand. "I withdraw from this competition."

That was unexpected. Why would Shunsui do that?

As if he was reading everyone's thoughts, he continued, "I don't want to let my beautiful Nanao to be alone…." And then blood was flowing rapidly from his nose. Everyone knew he was having a pervert thought at that time.

"What? What's happening here?" Kubo started to panic.

So since Shunsui decided to withdraw, therefore Ichigo got to stay in the competition and Shunsui was vanished.

Kubo pointed at me. "You, YOU! AUTHOR! It is all your doings, you piece of shi-"

Ichigo was super delighted by the unexpected outcomes. He-

"Oh, so you're trying to cut me off again, now, aren't you? Well I-"

By this, round 2 had cleared. Now what will be waiting for them in the next round?

"YOU SON OF A-"

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**Yeah I know this chapter sucks. I'll try my best to deliver much a better story next time, so bear with me for a while. Anyway, I suggest you guys to watch Fear Factor if you haven't. It's one of my favorite reality shows and Joe Rogan is so wicked awesome.**


	3. Smartly Stupid

**Author's Note:**

**Thanks a lot guys for reading my fics, especially people who reviewed and added me/my stories as [Favorite Author], [Story Alert] and [Favorite Story]. You people are amazing. Reviews are very much appreciated.**

**Disclaimer:**

**I don't own anything. Happy?**

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Round 3: Smartly Stupid

"How long are we going to walk?" Orihime, who was already feeling exhausted, asked Unohana who obviously had no problem with anything whatsoever. The 4th division captain even kept her smile all the time although it was extremely hot (most of them almost died due to the heat). For God's sake, they were walking for more than 12 hours at a desert!

"I don't know… hopefully we'll reach there soon," Unohana replied. Yoruichi had already gone from their sight from the very first hour they walked – as expected from the Queen of Flash. No one knew where she was at that moment.

Yamamoto was currently in lead, with Aizen just a couple of feet away from him. You could feel the killing aura between them. It's pretty blatant that if it wasn't for Kubo's birthday they would've killed each other by that time.

Mayuri, on the other hand, was doing his favorite hobby – abusing Ishida mentally. "You know, brat, I'll kidnap you and use you to upgrade my bankai to upper level – making me the first person in whole Soul Society to do so!" He laughed maniacally. "After this stupid game ends, of course."

Ishida's face immediately turned pale white after hearing the 12th division captain's statement.

"Hey, look, it's Yoruichi-san," Ichigo said to Renji while pointing at a figure. Yoruichi who was sitting on a big rock (looking really bored), waving at those people who had just arrived. There was an incredibly huge door at the middle of the desert, waiting to be opened.

"That damn Kubo didn't let me in until you guys arrive," Yoruichi muttered. That meant she had already been waiting there for about 11 hours!

"Seriously, that door kinda reminds me of Doraemon's magic door…" said Chad in a very low voice, but surprisingly could be heard by Lisa who was standing next to him. A very interested Lisa suddenly pulled Chad's arm.

"You like manga? Do you want to be my assistant? We can work together and publish lots of comics…" Lisa offered a job to Chad who was clearly puzzled.

Then, the enormous door magically opened, allowing the guests to enter.

Much to everyone's surprise – they were in Disneyland!

"Oh, great," Hitsugaya murmured sarcastically. He got a feeling that Rangiku would try to convince him to play one of those absurd games – and he was exactly right.

Several minutes had passed, and a robot was seen heading towards them. It turned out that the robot had a square screen on its face, with Kubo displaying himself. It's obvious that Kubo was the one controlling the odd-looking robot.

"Congratulations for making it this far," the robot clapped its steel hands. "Now, I present you the next round – the round which tests your biggest weakness, PATIENCE."

Everyone was wondering what Kubo meant.

"See that Merry-Go-Round with the horses? All of you are going to go there and ride a horse for each one of you, and as the Merry-Go-Round starts, an envelope will pop up somewhere around the horses' bodies. All of you are introduced to the stupidest, dumbest cartoon character ever created – and you have to teach them until they are smart. In your perspective letters, you will be given particular cartoon characters with specific tasks to complete. Of course, the one who failed to do so will lose. However, any contender who damages their cartoon characters' properties will automatically be eliminated. I'm quite lenient this time, so I'll give you 6 hours to complete this mission," Kubo gave instructions as usual.

Hisagi was a little bit confused. "Wait… how long are we gonna wait for that envelope to appear?"

Kubo, who was on the screen of course, smirked. "Anytime I want."

After several seconds, a warning alarm beeped. "3 seconds for destruction. 2… 1…."

And BOOM! The robot exploded, sending everybody to the Merry-Go-Round area. Without their own will, they had no choice but to follow every single word that Kubo had uttered. So all of them got on the horses, with most of them complaining though, and the 'Barbie Girl' song was played throughout the ride.

Yachiru mocked Grimmjow and Ulquiorra, telling them that they looked absurd. Both of them shot their cero relentlessly towards the tiny vice-captain – unfortunately, Yachiru just dodged all of the attacks easily, making both the 4th and 6th Espada to just ignore her.

After about 2 hours riding and listening to the same song, Ikkaku eventually found a letter, being the first person to do so.

"WHOO! GOT IT!" he shouted and got off the horse before blowing it up using his bankai.

Everybody suddenly felt the urge to find the envelopes. Several people had already found their letters, but some of them, including Ichigo, had a difficult time to find theirs.

Finally, Ichigo managed to find his envelope in the tiny nose of the horse. He didn't know how the hell it got there but what the heck. Ichigo then hurried off to open his letter and know what task was given.

Ichigo read the letter:  
"Your main task is:  
To teach HOMER SIMPSONS on how to spell his own name."

Ichigo's jaw dropped. "That's really easy…."

He made his way towards the crowd, searching for a man named Homer. He recognized the yellow man – he was the main character of the so-ever popular cartoon show The Simpsons.

On his way to find Homer, he encountered Rukia, who apparently was doing the same as Ichigo.

"Hey, what's your task?" Ichigo asked the petite shinigami.

"The envelope says that I need to teach Billy from 'The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy' to poke his nose properly. What the hell?"

Ichigo then went off to continue his journey – and he saw Kensei and Mashiro arguing with each other.

"Oh, uh! Kensei, what are you doing? Eh, eh?" Mashiro constantly irritating the hot-headed Kensei.

Kensei, who had Ed from 'Ed, Edd N Eddy' as his pupil, was enraged due to Mashiro's presence. "Go ahead and do your own work!"

"Uhh, I'm bored. I let my pupil escape."

"Err, why am I here? Ahahaha," Ed just asked out of nowhere and laughed.

Kensei was really annoyed by both of them that he knocked Mashiro out and threatened Ed to do what he told him to, or else he'd kill him mercilessly. Ed kept on laughing and made happy jokes which further irritated him.

Ichigo felt a little bit sorry for Kensei, but he needed to worry about himself first. After passing several blocks, Ichigo was able to find his pupil – Homer Simpsons, who was sitting inside a bar, drinking Pepsi.

"Hey there, buddy. Want Pepsi?" Homer greeted as he saw Ichigo entering the bar.

Ichigo grabbed a seat next to Homer. "No thanks. Listen, Homer – I'm gonna teach you how to spell your name."

"Ah, no need to. I'm doing good," Homer rejected, but immediately agreed after Ichigo had promised that he would give him doughnuts if he succeeded on spelling his own name.

"Alright," Ichigo began. "Let's get started – first, I want you to spell yourself," Ichigo instructed. He had no chalks or pens to write with, so he decided to just carve the bar wooden wall by using his sword.

Homer, holding the sword, began to write slowly. Just a few minutes, he had done writing. "I'm done!" said the yellow-skinned man.

And it spelled JOHNNY DEPP.

"Oh, come on. You know that's not your name," Ichigo rolled his eyes. He then carved Homer's name on the wall, and told Homer to just exactly copy it.

Homer started to write again.

Ichigo sighed after seeing Homer's writings. "No, it's not HOMERUN, it's HOMER."

"Oh, I've just realized that," said Homer. "You want Pepsi?"

"Pepsi? Yeah, I'm kinda thirst- no, NO! I'm not here to drink Pepsi. Go ahead and try writing again!"

"Homer, that's JESSICA SIMPSON.. Can't you even spell your name?" Ichigo was losing hope after Homer's 13678th try. He still didn't get it right.

"All the contenders, go to the front stage right now. Don't be late," An announcement then could be heard. Homer looked like he was confident to win although he actually failed miserably during the practice sessions, while Ichigo had lost all his hopes. They left the bar, oblivious to the fact that its owner, Donald Duck, was shouting and babbling endlessly at them for destroying his walls.

As they had arrived at the stage, the first contestant, Rose, had already started performing. His pupil was Dee Dee from 'Dexter's Laboratory' and, of course, it didn't work, so Rose was easily eliminated.

The super villain of Bleach universe, Aizen, expectedly managed to move to the next round. He had Peter Griffin from 'The Family Guy' as his student – as stupid as Peter could be, Aizen was able to turn him into Albert Einstein The Second. Everybody rolled their eyes, knowing he was using his illusion power though. Kubo was also dumb enough not to notice about Aizen's ability.

Lots of other contestants failed. Kensei and Mashiro were automatically eliminated, since Kensei was too busy trying to kill Mashiro making him forget about Ed. Ichigo was the second last contender to perform – Yumichika being the last guy, with Cosmo from 'The Fairly OddParents'.

"Heeeeeey, you look like a banana," Cosmo grinned, talking to Homer who was sitting next to him.

Feeling excited, Homer replied, "Ooh! Ooh! A fairy! Can I wish for doughnuts?"

"NEXT!" Kubo announced through the loud speakers.

Ichigo patted Homer, trying to energize him, though he himself didn't have that much faith in his student.

Homer began to write on the blackboard attached to the wall of the stage. Ichigo didn't even have the guts to see what Homer was writing – all he knew was he's not going to pass this round.

After a few moments, Ichigo lifted his head up – he needed to man up and face every single thing. Much to his surprise, Homer was writing perfectly right!

"Yay! I'm done!" Homer put down his chalk. Ichigo's eyes were sparkling brightly as he watched in pure happiness.

Oh, no.

Ichigo reexamined Homer's writings: HOMER SIMPSON.

Homer forgot to add an S at the end of his name!

Ichigo panicked. He immediately reached for Cosmo's wand, and said, "I wish that there was an S at the very end of the SIMPSON word!"

And POOF! It's HOMER SIMPSONS!

Homer cried with joy. He ran towards Ichigo and hugged him, resulting in Cosmo's wand to fall – and, unfortunately, Homer accidentally stepped on the wand!

"Ayasegawa Yumichika, you are eliminated for damaging you pupil's property," said Kubo.

Yumichika gasped in horror. "What? It's NOT ME who broke it. It's them!" He pointed at Ichigo and Homer. But still, Kubo was just as ruthless as ever. Yumichika vanished immediately, indicating that Kubo had sent him for punishment. Ichigo could hear a faint 'curse you Ichigo', although he wasn't sure whose voice was it.

"Yeaahoo! Cool! I can spell!" Homer shouted happily.

Tatsuki murmured to Rukia, "Kubo is surprisingly tolerable in this chapter, don't you think?"

"Don't get fooled easily," Rukia replied coldly, "He might have other tricks in his sleeves."

The huge, door which resembled the Doraemon's magic door, appeared out of nowhere, ready to bring the remaining contenders to get out of Disneyland.

Homer shed tears as he watched Ichigo wave goodbye. At the same time, he was feeling happy that he succeded to write his name and did belly dancing. The door then vanished.

"Ah, good day..." said Homer, who was about to go home, but suddenly remembered something, "Hey, wait - where are my doughnuts?"

* * *

**I don't know if it's good enough or not, but I hope you enjoy it. Thanks again for reading!**


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